momydu
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� 2003-01-16 San Jose My life is so different here, compared to San Jose. I feel happy, but still something is missing. First thing is probably that we don't have any family here. I haven't spent much time with my sister since we moved out here, and it hurts me sometimes. Second is I miss the whole feel of San Jose, the weather, the people, the look of a big city, not too big, just right. My heart belongs there, and so even as I settle in here, I still am homesick. Today while me and my friend were walking she was telling me how she is so lonely for her old city, and how she cries sometimes when her family is gone, thinking of all she left behind, and in that moment I could finally comletely relate to someone here. I have always liked her, she is funny and smart and so fun to be with, but I never felt like we had more than fun in common. After that we talked about everything we miss, and adjustments we have made, sacrifices, and being moms. I came home and cried because my heart hurts still even after eight months of living here, but atleast I have someone I can share this with now. I haven't wanted to burden my husband with all of my negative feelings, because he goes to work every day to provide for us, and he doesn't need my crappy attitude about this weighing him down, so it feels good to have her. I miss Catie, and I miss Lincoln avenue with fresh bread, Starbucks and Hicklbees books. I miss airplanes flying over my apartment and my favorite small grocery store. But, it will be ok, I am going to be ok.
I love you forever - 2007-10-04
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