momydu
|
� 2001-09-28 God blessed me It was a long day. Not good, not bad, just long. My Dad sent me a birthday card. This is the man I have been estranged from for the past ten months. He has had some contact with my kids, which is fine with me, but I have asked him for very limited contact, with no phone calls whatsoever. So, in my birthday card he wrote that he will be calling me on my birthday to sing me happy birthday. I am not sure what to do. I haven't heard his voice in so long, and I am not sure how I am going to react. I am still not over the anger, which makes it very hard to move on. I still think of him daily, I still miss him often, but I still remember every crappy thing he has done and said to both me and my sister in my life. To top it all off, he is starting marriage number four next month, and I am still not sure emotionally how to deal with that either. I am sure people who read this might think I sound like a spoiled brat, but trust me removing myself from the relationship with my dad is hands down the hardest thing I have done in my life. He hurt me over and over again, and when I told him he hurt me he would just ignore the words. I love him somewhere in my heart, but mostly I still am pissed off at him. So, I am not sure what to do about him calling. If anyone knew my dad, they would never be able to forget his voice. Loud, imposing, and unforgettable. I have just gotten all of my anxiety issues under control, and my worry is that this will start it off again, and never mind that it is MY birthday. I guess I have a lot of thinking to do before Tuesday, to decide what I want to do. Right now I think I will go snuggle up to my best form of therapy, my husband , the man I always dreamed a man should be.
I love you forever - 2007-10-04
|
design by simplify.