momydu
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� 2001-09-17 Still hurting Today is the first day of my boys preschool where he stays all day without me. I drop him off in a little while, and I am feeling the panic sneak up. My husband is planning on picking him up, which only makes it worse, because I would feel better knowing I could show up early and wait until school was out. I realize my problems are silly. I realize that what I have to worry about in my life is nothing compared to what is going on in our country, so please know I am not selfish in writing about my trivial issues, I just find that if I keep on going about my life I can cope easier with what has happened. My husband told me, after we got in the car after Marine World, that he had actually had a whole day of peace of mind, and fun. He told me that the four days prior to that his mind was consumed by thoughts of what was going to happen next, and what had already happened. He told me that the visions kept replaying in his head, just like they had been in mine. I just put my head on his shoulder and cried with him. I can tell you that I have only seen him cry three other times in all the years I have known him. Once when my son was born, and once when we were newly married, and I wanted to leave him, and through a very difficult time with his father. As I a lay on his shouldre I keep thinking how I am so blessed, and I continue to pray for all the victims, their families, and our country.
I love you forever - 2007-10-04
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