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2001-04-30

Oh, the kisses!

My kids had such a nice weekend. They started it off by sleeping over for the first time at my sisters, and that went well. Then my Mom picked them up the next morning. They all went to the park, and then to the movies and to lunch. My Mom said it was the nicest weekend they have had in a long time. The kids were so well behaved, and everything went smoothly. I am having a hard time with a few things lately, and this weekend helped clear up some of them, private issues, that have been intruding on my marriage. I wish I could go out and speak to every teenage girl and explain to them exactly what it means to be a mother. I wish that it was possible to put a magic hat on their heads and let them see for themselves what day to day life is like, and that it is a forever job. Saying that, I should say that I am not regretting having my kids. I love them, and appreciate the gift that they are, but having my daughter at eighteen was so hard. I was a single mom, who worked at Dennys and lived with my Mom, and was very much alone. I didn't know how to be a Mom, and I didn't know what it meant. I remember people trying to explain to me how hard it would be, but I don't remember it having an impact on me. When I went away this weekend I realized how much a part of every minute of my life my children are. I am used to waking up to my son going potty, and then off goes the day. It is something that I love to do now. Something I feel I have gotten pretty good at even, but my goodness the work. I realized while holding my husbands hand while walking in Tahoe, that it is very unusual for us to do that. Usually we are holding kids hands between ours. My husband and I take a different view of parenthood then some. We believe the kids always come first before our needs. I am at home with my son because I want to be here for him. We don't take regular vacations alone because we love being a family together, and we know that someday probably too soon for us, the kids will be away. Sometimes we are overwhelmed, but it always works out. Every night before we go to bed we talk, and kiss, and have time together, and someday we will take lots of trips alone, and spend a lot more time together as a couple, but for now nothing is sweeter then coming home to two kids who are so excited to see their parents. Nothing is better then the kisses and the love we received coming home yesterday.

previously next

I love you forever - 2007-10-04
Breeana and Mom - 2007-09-25
First baby - 2007-09-19
The results - 2007-07-31
12 dasy until work - 2007-07-29