momydu
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� 2001-09-10 So sad I was reading someones diary, about how she is feeling sad and in the middle of her parents arguements, and I felt overwhelmed with sadness. I don't think parents realize how much fighting, and name calling in front of children impacts their lives. At least I hope they don't know it, because if they do know, and do it anyway, then they are awful. My childhood was filled with sadness. I had a lot of love from my Mom, and good friends who I had a lot of fun with, but their was always a shadow cast over my life, that shadow was my Dad. Knowing as soon as he got home from work my day would be ruined. Something I had done would have been wrong. I didn't dust, I didn't put the cap back on the milk tight enough, my B+ wasn't an A, something, anything would set him off. Of course now that I am an adult I know that his anger came from things outside of our home. It came from his childhood, and it came from his work, I was just his target. My Mom was rarely home when he got angry, he always got home before her, and so he had plenty of time to be mean before she got there. Frequently I would cry in my room until I heard her car, and then run to the driveway to hug her. God, I can't help crying even now, even after all of these years. And I know it works the same way with children who come from homes where the parents verbally abuse eachother, because my best friends home was that way, and she suffers those consequences to this day as well. Anyway, after reading the ladies diary today I cried. Partly for her, and partly for me. I believe when you have a child you are given a gift in many ways, one being the chance to raise that child the right way, and hopefully heal some of the hurt from your own childhood.
I love you forever - 2007-10-04
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